Archive for August, 2009

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"I have a c*nt, so that makes me… a man"

August 11, 2009

Found this gem via bilerico. Funny, sarcastic responses to some of the questions trans persons get asked… a lot. ❤

I especially like Charles’ response to the first question,

“What if you were born into the right body?”

Um… I sort of like being trans. Uh… Do you mean into a body that might get me laid more? I kind of like my body. I don’t… I don’t think I understand this question.
What if you were born into the right body?

Sure, I experience body dysphoria at times. Sure, certain things about my life now would be easier if I’d been male-assigned at birth. And menstruation was pretty much the suck for most of my life and now that the magic of hormones has ended that I’m pretty much thrilled. But, two buts (heh, I said butts):

1. Easier is not the same as better
2. There are lessons I learned as a modern dancer about inhabiting exactly the body that I’m in as my instrument and using it and loving it. Body-positivity as a political and personal truth is really important to me; so if there are changes I want to make to my physical form, they are to move forward from this point, not to correct a mistake in the form God gave me. The complicated and unusual history that’s written on this body is a blessing — sometimes a difficult one, but never a curse.


Sometimes I find myself in the position of being the ‘good’ trans friend that you can talk to about stuff without setting off a landmine of rage. In large part this is a choice, a natural one that comes from my generally even-tempered approach to the world, from my tendency to detach and intellectualize problems and think about them calmly and rationally, and from my intense desire to understand the world from perspectives that are not my own. Sometimes I recognize that this can be problematic, and sometimes I have to remind myself that understanding other perspectives doesn’t have to undermine my own. I wish there were an easy way to communicate that the reverse is also true — that my perspective on gender does not have to invalidate that of my cis* friends who have trouble shifting my pronouns and/or don’t think they’ll ever be comfortable thinking of me as a he. As long as there is tolerance, and a recognition that if that barrier to accepting my male identity exists, it will be a barrier between us in certain situations. And as long as we all remember that I am more than my trans identity (and really, if we’re not the most intimate of friends, as long as you use my new name and the pronouns I ask you to use, I don’t really care if in your own head you think of me as a man or as a nontraditional woman — that’s a concession I wish I didn’t have to make, but it is a reality.)

Sometimes it’s really nice to see the kind of truthful sarcasm in the above video, though. So when I’m asked the standard questions, I’ll probably answer them kindly and truthfully, or tell the asker to please back off because my genitals are none of their business, but my inner monologue might be a little different. Especially if I’m tired and cranky.


In transition news, I’ve started to see a tiny bit of growth on my upper lip like a wisp of a hint of a mustache. o/ It’s possible I’m the only one who can see this.

It’s the little things that make me happy. 😀